703-329-0900

Talking to our Parents When They Need Our Help

In working with the adult children of seniors, I often get questions such as “How do I convince them to come live with me?” or “What do I say to convince them they need more help in the house?”

While there is never just one way to address these difficult questions, I would like to tell a short story of a conversation I had in the last few days.   The person to whom I was speaking told of a short conversation she had with her mother during a recent visit.  She had become very concerned about her mother, living alone in a multi-level home, with a shrinking social circle. Visiting her mother from out of town, she reported they had a very nice visit.  And toward the end of the stay, she said to her “Wouldn’t it be great if we could spend more time together?”  And her mother wholeheartedly agreed.

For the time being, their conversation ended there.  But the statement was the perfect entry into a longer conversation, which they will probably have soon.  It said to her mother that she just wanted to be with her.  At least for the time being, it had nothing to do with the issues of safety, declining health, etc.

It just had to do with love.  And it was a great place to start.